Today should have been the kick off of Memorial Day. It is typically the second biggest weekend on Grand Lake (second only to Fourth of July) when all the Tulsa yuppies would come up to their lake houses and tool about the lake before retiring for a nice supper at the local yacht club… while I would drive home in my pimped out 2003 Honda Civic to eat Hamburger Helper and day old bread. As you can tell, I am not bitter or jealous at all. But all that changed when Patient Zero showed up at Grand Lake… Memorial Day barely seems a blip on the radar. I do appreciate it because it gave us flags that we still have hanging upside down from the roof… but holidays just don’t seem to have any real meaning anymore.
But as for current events. So for the last several evenings, we have been battered by terrible storms. You don’t live in Oklahoma for 20+ years and not learn to take thunderstorms seriously. It is called “Tornado Alley” for a reason. Of course without the local weathermen breaking into your favorite TV shows with raging hard-ons to show you all their fancy radar data, we have to just kind of wing it as far as bad storms. We had to almost drag Lance and Brad down off the roof from their sniper positions. Lance is practically living up there now. Could be an issue later.
Still, when you see those storm lines come rolling through with the dark swirling clouds, well, it makes your butthole pucker a bit. And there was a pretty terrifying moment when we had a brown out. It might have been just a tree limb hitting a power line or the winds whipping about. But thankfully, we do still have power. But it did provide me for an interesting bit of information.
When weather got bad at my house, the animals always sought shelter. Whether we are talking about the semi-wild cats or our dogs that we could never seem to hang on to, they knew when the weather was getting bad and would seek shelter.
Here is the thing… Zombies do the same thing.
They actually sought shelter from the storm and cleared out from the parking lot. Tornado or rains be damned, we used the time to our advantage. You would be surprised how quickly a group of people can loot through front pockets and discarded purses to find keys. Damn near every vehicle has a keyless entry system these days and the parking light flash when you hit the unlock key. So we started parking big pickups and vans up against the glass doors. This now gave a second exterior barricade to keep the zombies from hitting the windows and doors directly. We chanced using the parking lot lights. A few shots needed to be fired but the high winds and heavy winds really muffled the noise and everyone was back inside with only a few close calls. Nothing to write home to Mom about.
But this made me look at the zoms in a different light. We thought that they were just wandering mindless creatures but they seem to have some sort of inherent instincts still hardwired into their mushy brains. I have heard a theory about “genetic memory” where you have instincts at birth. Too many of our ancestors did not fear that slimy tube of flesh crawling through the muck and decided to pick it up. We would later learn that a water moccasin was something to be feared. And because of all those encounters, today, we just know it instinctively.
If this theory holds true, then maybe zombies have some base instincts hard wired in. I say that but I have seen these guys run smack dab into a chainsaw hoping to chew on the flesh of the operator. So, I am not Carl Jung. Sue me.
Still, this gives me hope for a future plan that I have been postulating. I am still kicking around this plan but I want to test a theory. Are zombies warm-blooded or cold-blooded? Because if they are cold blooded, we could gain a real advantage in the winter…
